イエス様への手紙
イエス様へ、
この何年間 本当に体験したことのないいろんな問題がきました。そして 55歳過ぎて 働きに出ることになりました。それは長い間望んでいた事ですが世で考えると ”遅い?”、 ”出来るかな?”、 ”それも海外で?”、 と言う思いがありましたが、私は あることを思いだしました。それは 義理の母がいた頃の教会のキャンプの駐車場で 夜、片付けをしている時に ふっと聞こえた?囁き?小さなことばで その時は 今の言葉はなんだったかな?と思っていたのですが、それが現実になった事でした。とにかく出て行ってやるしかないと言う思いで レベルを下げてはじめの1歩からはじめました。始めると 次の2歩目がきて、3歩目と歩き出しました。1歩1歩は 神様が 私の心を準備して次へ進めのサインをくれました。そして最後に自分の専門職に戻る事ができました。今また 次の目標が心にきていますが、仕事に追われてそれを準備する時間を持つことができないでいました。するとまた 新しい知らせが聞こえて来ました。それは、ヨブ記で読んだことが起ころうとしていると思い、神様のことばは成就すると言う教会でのメッセージを思い出したした。こうしていつもいつも私の心に神様が、ことばを与え続けてくれ 今までくることができました。 そのことばを私の心に与え続けてくれたのは 毎週礼拝で頂くメッセージ、そしてそこでの賛美を通しての歌詞からのことば、また今まで牧師夫人との電話や教会での会話で聞くことば、そしてもちろん聖書からのことば。。。でした。 それらは 一人で運転している時や家事をしてる時にふっと心に出てきて 私を助けてくくれました。そのことばの中には 何年も前に聞いたことばもありました。
その時には 語られたことばの意味がわかっていなかった事が今になってわかったのだと気がつきました。こうして言葉をもらいながら歩き続けているうちに 家族にも変化していきました。息子には インターネットで得た間違った情報で体に問題が起きて食事を消化する事ができなくなっていたのですが 牧師夫人や牧師の娘さんのことばを毎日いただいて 今 体も心も新しくなりだしました。新しい学校にも導かれました。 主人も一度疲れて仕事を退職して一時期は家にましたが、教会には欠かせず通い続け、個人的にも牧師夫人を通してことばを与えられ また立ち上がり今まで与えられた物を用いてリモートでできる仕事が与えられ歩きだしていました。そして今またそこを通して新しい仕事が与えられようとしています。
神様 本当に今にくるまでことばを通して支え続けてくれてありがとうございました。私は あなたのことばをうけて ここまで立って歩き続けてくる事ができました。そのことばは この世にではなく 教会を通して語られた言葉でした。それはつい最近の礼拝で賛美した時にもあなたは語ってこられました。「あなたは どっちのことばを選ぶ?」と。 私は 答えます。 ”YES! 私は あなたのことばを選びます。”と。 これからも 教会でのメッセージを通して いつも いつも あなたのことばを食べて 教会の奉仕で、仕事でそれを流して生きていきます。
”主はみことばを送って彼らをいやし、その滅びの穴から助け出された。” (詩篇107:20)
田ノ浦 泰子
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My Abba Father God, my Lord Jesus Christ,
Thank You for saving me. イエス様の死と復活と昇天を通して、じぶんがおこした全ての罪を赦してくださり、このダヴァール神の国の中に入れてくれてパスター、まさみさん、純を通してみことばを与えられ、清められ、訓練され、喜びと平安を与えられてる事を感謝します。色々な試練、それも自分の罪のせいで起こった事にも関わらず、あなたのみことば通り全てを益になさってくれてる事、そして今の自分がいる事、を感謝します。パスターのメッセージ、まさみさんからのいっぱいの長いカウンセリングを忍耐を持ってしてくれた事、純からの賛美の教えと訓練、このダヴァール神の国で神様から、しか、与えられた事、感謝します。この全てが神様の愛、恵、哀れみ、そして神様の忠実さと goodness、を知る事が出来た事、そして続けてもっと知る様になる事、感謝します。この神様の愛をこれから流す様このダヴァール神の国の中でする様導いて、教えて、訓練を続けて行く事を感謝します。この全ての祝福を感謝します。
イエス様の御名によって、感謝と共に、
タッド
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証
“Then [I] cried to the Lord in [my] trouble, and he saved [me] from [my] distress. He sent out his word and healed [me]; he rescued [me] from the grave.” (Psalm 107:19-20)
It all started in 2020…
During quarantine, I hung out with a group of 4-5 people from my track and field team. We had grown very close from running together ever since school had shut down. On days that we weren’t running/training, we would often go to the beach, since we lived by the ocean. It was during one of these occasions that one of my friends commented on my body. “Wow, Ko, you really slimmed up since the last time I saw you.” This single statement, although said as a simple compliment, changed my entire perception of my body.
From this point on, I slowly began to obsess about my looks. Working out became the center goal of my day. The day was not finished until the workout was done. I would work myself to exhaustion, 2 sessions a day: 1-2 hours of cardio and then another 1-2 hours of weight lifting. Nevertheless, I still wasn’t satisfied with the results. I began to ask my peers about how they stayed in shape and that is when I learned about how important food is in shaping your body. All this information could have been used in a beneficial way, but, since I was like a baby stepping into a new world, I let it take control of me.
I tried many different diets, mainly ones revolving around intermittent fasting. Nevertheless, the goal was always: eat as little as you can. At an age where I was supposed to be eating as much as I could, I was practically starving myself. As a result, my body began breaking down. However, it was gradual, so I never noticed it. It started out with having to go to the bathroom an unusual amount of times. It got to a point where I questioned whether this was normal. Next came energy deterioration. I would be quite tired all the time, not really feeling like I wanted to do anything. Working out became a burden, it was no longer fun. The symptoms kept on showing more and more, yet, I never listened to my body. This went on for 5 years.
Throughout this entire period, God tried to warn me many times of the disaster that I was bringing upon my body. He would try to speak to me through multiple people: my parents, my pastor’s wife (Masami-san), and many others. Even in the sermons, I would hear “don’t diet”, but I had completely shut my ears to this. I would think “you don’t understand, I have to do this in order to stay fit.” Meanwhile, I would look at others my age and see them enjoying food normally, while remaining thin and fit. I would think “man, I wish I was like that.”
By the 5th year, I had completely convinced my body to not be hungry. Although there were periods where I started eating more, I would think I was overdoing it and immediately fall back into not eating. My body had also developed more symptoms: being extremely cold in normal temperatures, mouth/gum sores, dry (very dry, to the point it started tearing) skin, etc.
And then, in the beginning of late November 2024, it hit me. I experienced severe nausea after eating. It occurred once, then went away, so I thought it was only a minor stomach problem.
Nevertheless, it went on for weeks. It got so bad that I couldn’t even sleep, any position would trigger nausea. I couldn’t even eat normal foods anymore. I decided to go to the doctor. However, with them not knowing anything about the situation, the only thing they could do was prescribe me with medicine. I don’t remember exactly how I realized it, but, all the warnings suddenly came back to my mind, and I finally began to consider “what if this is because I’m not eating enough?” I decided to take a step. I began eating more… and I began to get better. I thought I was healed but many of the symptoms still persisted. The nausea would also occasionally come back. This went on for about a month or two.
One Sunday, the day I was supposed to go to church, I was feeling nauseous again. I felt pretty queasy so I chose to take the day off. That evening, I received a phone call from Masami-san (the Pastor’s wife).
She first inquired about how I was feeling and then asked why I was not able to come today. I explained everything. Already understanding what was going on, she first explained what was really going on in my body. The 5 years of unhealthy dieting had broken my body so bad that my digestive system was now no longer able to function properly. After explaining the dire scenario, she offered her help. What I was required to do was to send pictures of every meal I ate to her and her daughter (Jun). And so, that is what I began doing.
Every day, I would send over what I ate and they (Masami and Jun) would give me feedback on what to change. I learned so much: what foods to eat and when to eat them. I learned that I should eat heavy foods either in the morning or afternoons and lighter foods later on in the day. By 7:00pm, I was to have all my meals finished, because eating late is not helpful for the body. They would give me thorough explanations on why each food was good for that situation and what benefits it had on specific parts of the body. At the same time though, they would allow me to learn for myself which foods were right for me, specifically. They also helped fix my sleep schedule, which was essential to fixing the nausea. Before, I was sleeping between 12:00-1:00am. Now, I’m sleeping between 10:00-10:30pm.
From the first day I started following their regime, my body instantly started improving. The nausea began to go away, my digestive system started functioning properly (I would go to the bathroom 1-2 times/day instead of 4-5).
Physical healing was not the only thing they helped with. The conversations that I would have with them, especially Jun (Masami-san, after the first couple weeks, allowed Jun to take over as she was also very busy with taking care of other church matters. Although she still looked over what I ate, it was more Jun that would comment on my meals and give me feedback) brought me so much joy. It took all my loneliness away. I’ve gotten to learn so much about them. We would talk about everything. I would send them funny videos on social media or movies/shows that I was interested in watching or songs that I liked. Jun would reply to everything. I always looked forward to what she would say to everything that I sent. Now, let me specify, these weren’t exactly always church friendly (we’re talking about songs by rappers/hip hop artists, horror movies, videos that included… well … language), definitely not the stuff you would normally send to the Pastor’s family, nevertheless, they never once judged or rebuked me. I would sometimes spam the group chat with these texts, but they would always make time to answer back.
This allowed me to open up about myself more. I began to have deeper conversations with them about things that I had never really felt comfortable to tell anyone about, stuff that I kept hidden deep down inside. In the beginning, I was a bit scared to tell them. But, a part of me felt comfort in them knowing about these things. Deep down, I knew that they wouldn’t judge me even if I showed them this unseen side of myself. After telling them, they revealed truths to me that I would have never known on my own. I can see now how God was leading me through all this. He knew that I wanted to be set free from these bondages and he helped me take the step that I needed to take into freedom.
This process is still ongoing to this day. My health is only improving (physical and spiritual). Quick side note as well: I am in better shape, physically, than I ever was while dieting. This has shown me how much God cares about every aspect of my life. I didn’t even have to try to do anything (eat healthy or workout extra hard), he simply took care of everything. Things that I did not think he considered important, he still cares about. Everything that I consider important, he cares about. Slowly, but, surely, he is helping me to get rid of the wrong mentalities that I had ingrained in my mind, including this diet one. I am so thankful to God for all that he has done for me. He has answered me in a way I could have never imagined. He has even answered desires in my heart that I never even knew I had. He has turned my mistake into a blessing. As a result, I have grown closer to him. I have come to understand his goodness all the more. I have learned that he “is not just the God in the Bible, but the God who cares deeply about every small detail in [my] life.” (J. Asai, personal communication, May 11th, 2025 )
母にあげた花
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
田ノ浦 光
